What If You Could Have a Conversation With a Younger Version of You?

It sounds a bit strange at first, doesn't it? You are an adult now. You have moved on, built a life, and found your footing. Why on earth would you need to go back and talk to a child?

Through my own journey and from sitting with clients, I have noticed that the younger parts of us don't simply disappear when we grow up. They come with us, travelling quietly alongside us into adulthood. Sometimes, right in the middle of an otherwise perfectly ordinary day, one of those parts shows up.

It might be the part of you that completely shuts down when someone raises their voice. It could be the voice that quickly says, "I'll just do it myself," before anyone has a chance to let you down. Or perhaps it is the part that works tirelessly, yet still struggles to believe that it is enough.

These are not personality quirks. They are survival patterns that made complete sense once, likely at a time when the world felt unpredictable or unsafe, when love felt conditional, or when you had to navigate something far too big for a child to carry alone.

Where does this come from? The concept of the "inner child" has a long history in therapeutic circles. It was popularised by writers like John Bradshaw and remains woven into many modern, gentle approaches to healing. At its core, it is a simple but profound truth: parts of our emotional development can become frozen at the exact age when we experienced something difficult.

This perspective is not about placing blame on your childhood or endlessly analysing your parents. Instead, it is about understanding yourself with a deeper, kinder compassion than you might be used to offering.

Think about the last time you reacted to something in a way that surprised even you. Perhaps it was a large emotional response to a minor situation, a sudden shutdown when someone tried to get close, or a wave of grief that seemed to come out of nowhere. Quite often, these moments are younger parts of us speaking up. They are not being irrational; they are simply still carrying a heavy burden they never got the chance to put down.

Why does this matter now? Unprocessed emotional experiences do not just fade away with time. They tend to show up in how we relate to the people around us, the way we speak to ourselves in the quiet moments, the choices we make, and the frustrating patterns we keep repeating, no matter how hard we try to think our way out of them.

Therapy offers you a safe, gentle space to meet those younger parts. The goal is not to dwell on past pain, but to softly acknowledge them and offer the comfort and validation they didn't receive at the time. Very often, that is exactly where real, lasting change begins.

A small thing you can try The next time you notice a big emotional reaction to a situation, a person, or a specific feeling, try to pause for a moment. Gently ask yourself: "How old does this feeling feel?" Remember, this is not about how old you actually are, but the age of the emotion itself.

You do not need to have an immediate answer. Simply holding the question with curiosity begins to shift something beautifully within you.

Inner child work is one of the gentle approaches I draw on in my practice. If something in this reflection resonates with you and you would like to explore it further, I would love to connect.

Connect to your inner child

You can reach me at info@lorawoodcounselling.co.uk or book a free initial consultation through the website.

Take good care of yourself,

Lora 💙