The art of Resilience

We all know life isn’t easy and is always testing us. We face setbacks, heartbreaks, failures, and moments that shake us to our core. Yet, some people seem to rise, time and time again, like a phoenix from the ashes. Could it be they are more resilient?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this subject lately, I often hear the term ‘snowflake’ being used or another comment I see a lot is how ‘soft’ people have become? Have some of us lost our resilience to life?

Resilience isn’t just about ‘toughing it out.’ It’s about adaptability, self-awareness, and a deep understanding that pain and struggle are part of the human experience. It’s also not about ignoring your emotions and carrying on regardless when you really should be taking a break or getting help!

Eleanor Roosevelt’s Wisdom

Eleanor Roosevelt shared powerful insights on overcoming adversity in her writings. In You Learn by Living, she emphasised the importance of courage, stating, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Her experiences, from losing her parents at a young age to stepping into a public role despite personal struggles, shaped her belief that resilience is built through facing fears head on.

She taught that hardships should not be seen as obstacles but as stepping stones to personal growth. Roosevelt believed that by embracing challenges and continuing forward with determination, we not only build our own strength but also inspire others to do the same.

Jordan Peterson Personal Responsibility

I really enjoy Jordan Peterson’s teachings, whilst I don’t alwasy agree with him, what he says always makes me think deeply about important subjects and I Iove his teachings on responsibility.

In 12 Rules for Life, he tells us that facing suffering with a sense of purpose and responsibility can turn chaos into order. One of his key principles is “pick up your burden and walk uphill.”

Peterson’s perspective aligns with Viktor Frankl’s (Man’s Search for Meaning) belief that meaning in life can be found even in the harshest circumstances. He suggests that resilience comes from accepting life’s inherent suffering, taking responsibility for our actions, and working towards something meaningful. Instead of avoiding hardship, we should ask ourselves, “What meaningful thing can I do despite my difficulties” . Peterson tells us to get up in the morning and ‘make your bed’!

Buddhist Wisdom Acceptance and Impermanence

Buddhism teaches us that suffering is an inevitable part of life, but our attachment to things staying the same is what causes us the most pain. The concept of anicca (impermanence) reminds us that everything both joy and suffering comes and goes like the tides.

Meditation and mindfulness, central to Buddhist teachings, offer tools for resilience. By staying present and observing our thoughts without becoming entangled in them, we can navigate challenges with greater ease. The idea is not to resist pain but to acknowledge it, accept it, and understand that it, too, will pass. This ability to sit with discomfort without being overwhelmed by it.

When times have been hard in my life I have turned to meditation and it has been a wonderful coping strategy. Strangely I always stop when I feel better, but it’s something i’m trying to do more of.

Eckhart Tolle The Power of Now

Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now was a life changing book for me, his philosophy echoes Buddhist teachings but places even greater emphasis on the present moment. In the book he explains that most of our suffering comes not from the event itself but from our resistance to it.

When adversity strikes, we often ruminate on the past (“Why did this happen to me”) or anxiously project into the future (“What if things never get better”). Tolle teaches that true resilience lies in fully experiencing the present moment without judgement. He encourages us to ask, “Can I be with this moment as it is” This practice of presence can stop the cycle. He tells us that in this exact present moment, mostly there is nothing actually happening to us to make us suffer. Can I be witness to these thoughts and feelings and let them just pass by, without attaching to them? This is important for resilience because by detaching in that way, we are able to drop the story and re-frame a situation, giving us back our power.

Resilience is a Skill

Resilience is not something you’re born with it’s something you cultivate. It’s built through facing fear, taking responsibility, staying present, and adopting a mindset of growth and learning. Each of these perspectives from Eleanor Roosevelt’s courage to Jordan Peterson’s responsibility, from Buddhist acceptance to Eckhart Tolle’s presence show us the way.

The next time life throws you into chaos, ask yourself What can I learn from thisHow can I take responsibility for what I can controlAm I accepting this moment as it is, rather than resisting itHow can I reframe this into something meaningful

Resilience is not about avoiding difficulty it’s about learning to dance in the storm. And the good news every challenge you face is an opportunity to strengthen that ability.

What Resilience isn’t

It’s important to also recognise that there is awareness in resilience, it does not mean working yourself into the ground, ignoring your emotions or health issues, or putting on a brave face and pretending you are OK when you are not.

It doesn’t mean not asking for help when you need it and taking a break. It could mean, getting help from friends or family. Finding a therapist who can help you re-frame, or making changes to your relationships.

So, keep going. Rise again. You are stronger than you think.

Lora Wood

You can find me on instagram

@lorawoodcounselling